My life feels like chaos at the moment and I find myself unable to concentrate on anything longer than a short story or a poem. The other day I began a painting that was supposed to be a landscape and I botched it. In a fit of frustration, I covered the ruined canvas with black paint and started grabbing colors at random and dabbing them on. This is the result. I kinda like it –it looks like my mind feels right now.
“We don’t make mistakes, we have happy accidents.” – Bob Ross
Rummaging through artifacts
A collection of regrets
Reminders of time wasted
And chances lost
Sift out the memories
And donate them to charity
Could anyone be happy
With these castoffs?
“Surely,” you say,
“It hasn’t been all bad…”
But I never see the bright side
Only the might have
And the what if?
And I’ll go to my grave
Wishing I’d done it all differently
(The header image is one of my own paintings; an abstract I’m calling Reflection)
Cleaning and purging always feels liberating to me. Nevertheless, clearing out things I’ve collected over the years always reminds me of different paths I could have taken, different choices I should have made. And I will never, ever be one of those people who says, “Yes, but all those choices make you the person you are today.” While that is true, it also assumes that I am happy with who I am and where I ended up. I would take a do-over every single time. No question.
This started out as another abstract forest. I was trying to duplicate the one I’d done before and ended up ruining it. But not one to waste a canvas, I painted over the mess and tried something different. I began with an underpainting, then added layers to create a wild flower garden. Sigh… I actually think the under painting is better. Might have to do that over again.
And here’s the under painting.