Delaying tactics

I thought about reposting an older story today to tide me over until I get the next section of Small Cuts ready. Then I thought I’d just explain instead. Sometimes even when you have all your ideas plotted out, the actual words won’t come. Or at least, not the words you envisioned. I am writing the story, but I’m not thrilled with the way I’m telling it. This kind of thing happens when I work on longer projects: I write and then rewrite and then edit the crap out of it. So why the uninspired wordsmithing? Let me tell you…

As I started letting the word out about giving up my chiropractic license, so many of my long time patients called to schedule so they could say farewell. It’s been bittersweet. I’ve taken care of some of these folks for twenty plus years. Some of them drive from more than an hour away since they followed me to my home office from the other practice I worked at. They’ve become more than just patients – they are friends. And so it has been busier than normal and each appointment takes a little piece of my heart along with it.

I also had a bit of a health scare. I am fine. I don’t want to talk about it.

Then, last week, I went through the dreadful task of putting my beloved Jay Dog to sleep. I didn’t mention it at the time because I could barely talk about it without dissolving into tears. He had been going downhill for a while and we knew the time had come. It is the worst decision a pet owner ever has to make. I have been having audio-hallucinations: I imagine hearing his nails on the hardwood floors, his collar jangling and him rolling around on the carpet to scratch his nose. I adopted Jay Dog right after I lost my father. Nothing could replace my Dad, but having that sweet boy dog for company sure did help.

As you can imagine, my mind has been a jumble. It’s been hard to focus. Each day gets a little better, though. I still haven’t returned to form with my writing yet. But I will eventually. Thanks for your patience, dear friends.

33 thoughts on “Delaying tactics

  1. Hang in there, Meg. They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Your writing will be stronger when you come out the other side. The post was beautiful today, so I’d say you’re well on the way.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Meg, I’m so sorry for your loss. Everytime I’ve had to do that, I’d swear that I’d never get another dog again. But, the joy they give us, their unconditional love, really makes the pain worthwhile. Take solace in knowing that you gave him a beautiful life. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Rob. You’re so right – they are the best of friends. I’m not sure I’ll put myself through it again but I might change my mind after some time goes by. Appreciate your kind words, thanks again ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh shit, Doc. I’m so, so sorry. Been through that. I know how it feels. And it’s horrible. But, if he was suffering, it’s the right choice. I recommend you start looking for one sooner rather than later. Not to replace him, but to refill the love tank. Sending good thoughts your way. Hope you’re feeling ok too, by the way. 😊😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much. Yeah, I know it was the right time but it sucks having to make that decision. We are very likely making a move (another factor contributing to the madness) so I would wait till that is all settled before getting another dog. Anyway, health wise all is well. I had a suspicious finding on a test but it turned out to be nothing. It took 10 days to find out though! Sheesh!

      Liked by 2 people

  4. With all of this going on Meg, it’s a wonder you have written anything at all. I agree with Beach, you need a dog to replace the love lost with Jay Dog crossing the rainbow bridge. Good to hear that the test results were nothing to worry about. Hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Really sorry to hear about your loss Meg. You must have felt terrible, I know, but surely he has had a good life with you and his time had come. Words cannot console you but as they say, all wounds heal with time. He looks so lovely in the pic. Even i felt like crying.
    If you have so many things going on right now, wouldn’t it be wise to take a break? Don’t overstress yourself. Health comes first, everything else can wait.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much. You are right, time will ease the pain. And I agree, I need to slow down a bit. Especially the writing, I think. I’ve been at it non stop for over 4 years now. When it goes from being a joy to a burden, it is time to take a break!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Rita. It’s been one crisis after another this summer! My health is good – just a suspicious test that turned out to be nothing. Nevertheless it took 10 days to find that out! Talk about stress! And my buddy – yeah, I miss him. But each day gets a little better. 💜

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I am so sorry. And I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to get to reading your posts. I admit I have never been a dog person (I know… I guess I’m a freak), but I know how hard that is. Honestly, I was upset for weeks over my cat even though no one thinks that’s the same. Maybe it’s not… I don’t know.

    I’m sorry you’re going through all of those goodbyes, too. That is a lot to handle, especially along with everything else you’ve had going on. I hate when it all crashes at once… but that seems to be the way, doesn’t it? Sucks.

    As far as the writing goes, as everyone has told me … don’t worry how long it takes. We will be here to read whenever you’re ready. I love your story and look forward to the next installment no matter how long I have to wait.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I appreciate that so much – thank you. I have had both dogs and cats and I don’t think losing a cat friend is any easier! They are little members of the family. It gets easier each day, thank goodness.

      Right now I have to just do what I can and not get stressed out over anything more. I feel like if too much time goes by, everyone will lose interest though. Then again, I don’t want to post a crappy story because I rushed through it. Sigh… Anyway thank you for being so supportive! I’m glad for your friendship! ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  7. We had to put down our puppy (who was 14) years ago, and it was heart wrenching. I struggled with it morally (having to make the decision) and then in being there with him. It was awful. *hugs*

    I’m glad to see that you took some time for yourself to heal. We all need that sometimes. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. Yes, it’s true – worst to have to make the decision. But ultimately they would live ‘too’ long and suffer too much. I stayed with him till he was gone. It’s just awful. Fortunately getting better with time. Thank you so much! ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

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