Salvage

The ache was deep, the chasm wide
A heart left battered, a trust betrayed
And hidden away, locked inside
A broken woman, a soul afraid
And she bravely carries on
Every night a dreamless sleep
A blackness, sweet oblivion
But every sower has to reap
A painful restitution

Her resolution falters

Drowning, gasping, clawing to the surface
Treading dark water, staying afloat
Not so easy when you think you’re worthless
So much simpler to just let go

Lost to attrition

A spark of hope, a love unexpected
Tenderness, a healing balm
Gently loved, caressed, protected
Quiet the voices, issue the calm
Blessed redemption
To take the tentative step to trust again
To give her heart and take one in return
To share a life, to risk the pain
Of a love as intense as a fire that burns

She is salvage

Written in February 2016

Tan Lines

This is another round of questions via the Sunshine Blogger Award. My lovely friend Alex has bestowed this honor upon me and so I will play along. Alex Rafael has a wonderful blog about film, music and pop culture. Be sure to go visit and follow if you aren’t already!

Alex’s questions:

Which literary character would you most like to be? Robinson Crusoe – as long as I had the skills to survive, I would totally love to be marooned on a deserted island. I just have to figure out who I want to play Friday! And I’d need a trunk of books to survive the wreckage and wash ashore, too. And coffee. Unless it was already growing on the island. This is getting complicated.

Which TV character do you find most inspiring? The Doctor – because even though he has all of time and space at his fingertips, he has particular affection for Earth. That’s very nice of him.

If you could choose one specific drink to make healthy, which would you choose? Tough question. If you mean ANY drink then probably one of my favorite potent potables like a Hendrick’s martini, or maybe Irish whisky. Non-alcoholic? Possibly the Starbucks peppermint mocha. It has like a thousand calories so I rarely get one, but if it were healthier I might treat myself more often.

Which actor/actress did you think would become more famous but faded away? Julia Ormond. Absolutely beautiful and a fine actress. She was in demand in the early 90s and then poof! Nothing. Although, she did play a very small role in the last 2 seasons of Mad Men.

What was the first album you bought/downloaded? When did you last listen to it? Alright so, I remember this very clearly. Right after I got my first record player (dating myself here) I bought three vinyl albums at the same time: The Eagles’ Hotel California, Van Halen 2, Fleetwood Mac Rumours. I only repurchased one of those albums as a digital download – Rumours. And I may have listened to it within the last 6 months, but not real recently.

Which famous mystery do you wish you could know the answer to? What happened to Amelia Earhart and her navigator.

Have you ever had a film ruined by a bad cinema experience? If I get there late and get stuck in the front rows? Yeah, that pretty much sucks. 

Which family member are you most like and why? I would like to say most like my father. He was kind, smart and funny. And he had a knack for storytelling. Nevertheless… For years my mother tried to tell me I was most like my psychotic grandfather. (Nice, right?) So who knows?

What’s the most disappointed you’ve been with a film adaptation from a book? I really avoid movies from books that I truly love. I’m always disappointed. In my mind I have already cast the actors for their roles and inevitably, Hollywood chooses someone else. Oh, alright, hold on I just thought of one! I love the Jack Reacher novels by Lee Child. They cast Tom Cruise as Jack Reacher. Ridiculous. Jack is supposed to be like 6 foot 6 and 220 pounds. Cruise is probably 5’7′ and 160. Ugh.

Which famous person do you wish could live next door to you? Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters – he’s having more fun than anyone. Plus can you imagine the parties? He knows everyone.

What would your dream profession be? Dave Grohl’s event planner. Kidding. Shipwreck survivor? Also kidding. Best selling novelist.

As per my custom, I never play by the rules and pass these on. However, if you want to share your answers or opinions on any of the questions, consider yourself nominated. 

Validation

“No one forces you to ply the trade you follow. But if you do choose it, then acquit yourself to the best of your ability. And above all, you should not think of writing as a way of earning your living. If you do, your work will smell of poverty. It will be colored by your weakness and be as thin as your hunger. There are other trades which you can take up… Our opinion of you will not be any poorer, and since you will be sparing us acres of boredom, we may even think the better of you.” – Essay on Novels, The Marquis de Sade

On the face of it, that statement seems rather bleak, doesn’t it? Don’t all of us writers dream of being able to write full time, rather than fitting it in around our already busy schedules? That is certainly my ultimate goal. However, that’s not quite what the Marquis is getting at…

Writing has its peaks and valleys, soaring heights and bottomless pits. If you’ve been writing for a while, you know what that feels like. Sometimes the Muse chatters, the words flow and you scribble furiously to get it all down or tap violently on the keyboard as the story unfurls before you. It’s your best work. It’s brilliant, in fact. You read and re-read, carefully editing and correcting your errors. Then you deliver it into the world, whether it be to your blog, as a self published book on Amazon or within a query letter to an agent. You eagerly await a response.

And nothing….

You get a few likes on your blog, maybe some vague praise in the comments. “Nice work.” “Great post.” Your book languishes, sales are weak, nonexistent even. The agents are silent, or worse, dismissive… “Thank you, but your work isn’t a good fit for me. Good luck in your journey…”

It takes some spine and some determination to keep your head above water in the flood tide that is the vast ocean of writing and publishing these days.

Here is where the Marquis’ advice applies. Even if the Marquis and his notorious behavior puts you off, in many he ways his unwavering determination to follow his nature holds for us a lesson. (For some biographical details on de Sade, see The Passionate Philosopher, by Mr Cake). Maintain your artistic vision and integrity. Do not pander to popular trends among current best selling books. The world does not need another 50 Shades of anything, for example. (The irony of using that as an example in a post quoting the father of sadism is not lost on me.) Don’t lose sight of the reasons you began to write in the first place. No one should choose to write or compose solely to make a living. Rather, you must write out of love. You must write because the words would burn you from the inside if you didn’t let them out. That is the stuff we want to read.

Nevertheless, we all want to be appreciated, have readers enjoy what we write. But it is a rare thing to achieve overnight success. Yet we have all come to expect instant gratification. With so much information at our fingertips, we are confused and discouraged if we can’t have ‘it’ right this very moment. Aspiring authors need to have a long view. To continue the ‘head above water’ analogy – it’s like swimming the English Channel rather than doing a lap in a pool. There will be times when it feels like those distant shores are no closer. You may stop and tread water for a while to catch your breath. You need strong steady strokes to keep going. Slowly but surely progress is made. And if you’re lucky, you have lots of friends and family in the support boat to cheer you on.

Don’t let your desire for validation derail your dreams. Whatever you write, for whomever you write, on whatever medium you write, remember that you love to write. And that alone makes it worth it.

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Photo via English Channel Swim . com