The Power of Negative Thinking

I woke this morning to howling winds. It’s dark and raining –perfect for staying in bed or for curling up with tea and a book. Or for writing. Usually this kind of weather lends itself to concentration and immersion in whatever project I’m working on. Recently, I’ve been struggling to write. It’s happened before but never for this long. I really haven’t put new ideas down on paper since before the holidays.

I’ve alluded to the stress I’m experiencing in my personal life –let’s just say that it is ongoing– and it’s had a dramatic impact on my ability to write. This too, is a new phenomenon. My best writing usually comes from that dark space inside. But this is different. And perhaps it has to do with the subject matter I’ve been working on. Without realizing it, I’ve given Maya –my main character– the same ‘kinds’ of issues that are troubling me as well. And maybe striking so close to home has stayed my hand. Because I can’t see the way forward personally, I can’t see the way forward fictionally.

However, the whole thing is tied up in a bundle together. If I can’t get the writing back on track, it will compound the rest of the stress I’m feeling. I have to act. If life would just imitate art, I could write myself a solution for my real problems and my fictional ones.

Losing Words

Reworked and reimagined…

The pretty words rattle and quiver
They shake the walls
And give you the shivers

Bless those words and damn the silence
Tap the inkwell
Cover the blankness

They flow like a river, swollen to flood
Burn like a wildfire
Drip like blood

Over the precipice they tauntingly hover
The chasm is deep
And seductive as a lover

To lose those words is just like a death
For the writer would leap
Not save his last breath

Hitting the wall at 30,000 words…

Two full days. That’s what a weekend should give a writer participating in National Novel Writing Month. (Still hating the acronym). Going into this challenge, I knew I would be losing the first weekend to my excursion to New York City, (Hamilton was off the chart good. All that hype? Absolutely true!) but after that I figured on using the weekends to make up for any writing time I lost during the week due to my practice and my other responsibilities. The weekends ended up being the least productive days that I had… And this particular weekend, I spent three agonizing hours trying to work out a single scene to bring a plot point to conclusion. Three hours = 287 words. Horrendous. And for what? Only to find that I’ve hit a wall… I’m not sure how to write myself to my next point of interest. I may need a break…..