Blurb – Take Two

I’ve made some changes to my blurb from earlier this morning. Here is the new version for your consideration followed by the original version for comparison. I hope my struggle will help new or first time writers see how this process goes. For the rest of you I thank you for your patience!

Breaking Bread, Book Five of The Bucks County Novels – synopsis version 2:

Maya Kaminsky’s dream of owning a French bakery cafe has finally been realized, despite the opposition of her rigid and narrow-minded family. But as the business grows and thrives, it becomes the target of vandalism —at first petty mischief which quickly escalates into dangerous sabotage. To complicate matters, Maya’s childhood friend, Brad Logan, moves back into town and with his recent inheritance, buys her building, intending to help her out. However, Maya is so used to relying on herself that it’s a struggle to accept help from anyone, let alone a man with whom she finds herself falling in love. Nevertheless, Maya will need all the help she can get to save both her business and her very life.

And the original version:

Maya Kaminski has achieved her dream of owning a French bakery cafe, even though her family opposed her every step of the way. It hasn’t been easy, but her hard work and dedication have paid off —the business is thriving and she’s slowly getting ahead. Just as things seem to be going her way, her childhood friend, Brad Logan, moves back into town and with his recent inheritance, buys Maya’s building, intending to help her out. However, Maya is so used to relying on herself that it’s a struggle to accept help from anyone, let alone a man with whom she finds herself falling in love. When the cafe comes under attack, first by what appears to be petty mischief but quickly escalates to dangerous sabotage, Maya will need all the help she can get to save her business and her life.

What do you think? Better or still needs work?

Breaking Out the Blurb

Adventures in novel writing…

I feel like I’ve been working on Breaking Bread forever! But at last I’m finally seeing light at the end of the tunnel. As long as it’s not an oncoming train… and frankly the way the past year has been? That could very well be the case.FullSizeRender

I’ve reached that stage in novel development that I like the least — writing the synopsis, or blurb that goes on the back cover of the book and in the description on the Amazon page. How do you distill 85,000+ words down to a few sentences or a short paragraph? And write those sentences in such a way as to suck your potential readers into buying your novel? Ugh. It’s agonising!

Why is it so hard? Fellow writers, do you struggle with this part, too?

The blurb needs to convey the mystery, the suspense, the drama of the book without giving away the details or the ending. It also has to be concise and attention grabbing. I either end up with three sentences or an entire page. Finding the happy middle ground is elusive. So as I work on the blurb for my fifth novel, Breaking Bread, (and yes, I’m going with that title – more about that in another post), I rant, I rail, I stomp and I curse. That is ridiculous, right? Temperamental artist stereotype, right here! (She says throwing herself onto her Victorian fainting chair.) After I’ve had enough wallowing and whining, I get angry. What?!? Angry, you say? How does that help?do-not-keep-calm-anger-is-an-energy

This is not the path I would recommend to you all, but for me, getting angry energizes me. It sets me on fire and it feels kind of good. Maybe that makes me a dangerous psychopath, or possibly The Incredible Hulk’s previously unknown twin sister, I’m not really sure. Whatever the case, anger makes me feel alive. Once I get the frustration out of my system, I can move on, rejuvenated.

I nailed that blurb today. And if I didn’t nail it, I want you to tell me. Here it is below. All suggestions are welcome.

Breaking Bread, Book Five in the Bucks County Novels

Maya Kaminski has achieved her dream of owning a French bakery cafe, even though her family opposed her every step of the way. It hasn’t been easy, but her hard work and dedication have paid off —the business is thriving and she’s slowly getting ahead. Just as things seem to be going her way, her childhood friend, Brad Logan, moves back into town and with his recent inheritance, buys Maya’s building, intending to help her out. However, Maya is so used to relying on herself that it’s a struggle to accept help from anyone, let alone a man with whom she finds herself falling in love. When the cafe comes under attack, first by what appears to be petty mischief but quickly escalates to dangerous sabotage, Maya will need all the help she can get to save her business and her life.

(‘Keep calm’ image credit: farenheit211)

Three Empty Frames – the synopsis

I dread writing the book blurb for the back cover and/or the Amazon website. I have trouble deciding on what to say and what to leave out. What follows is the long version of the book’s description. On the blog I can be as wordy as I want! Chapter One will be posted tomorrow. I hope you will enjoy it! And for those of you who have read it, I’ll be interested in your thoughts about the changes I’ve made.

Jennifer Dunne has just buried her mother. The tedious task of sorting through her mother’s things yields a discovery. A diary dating from the 1960’s hints at her mother’s involvement in a decades old unsolved mystery. Three priceless works of art, stolen from a Philadelphia museum have been missing since Halloween night in 1968. When Jen and new love interest, the handsome lawyer, Tommy Quinn, begin to unravel the clues, the Dunne family is targeted by a burglar. Coincidence? Just when Jen and Tommy believe they’ve discovered the location of the missing paintings, things turn dangerous.

Meanwhile, Jen and Tommy’s relationship is complicated by the arrival of a handsome executive from Prague who attempts to sweep Jen off her feet. Alexi Marek is wealthy, elegant, and charming. He is also not who he claims to be. The search leads down one blind alley after another until finally, Jen is sure she’s found the location of the lost masterpieces. But has the final clue led her astray yet again? Or have the paintings been hidden in plain sight all along?