I’ve made some changes to my blurb from earlier this morning. Here is the new version for your consideration followed by the original version for comparison. I hope my struggle will help new or first time writers see how this process goes. For the rest of you I thank you for your patience!
Breaking Bread, Book Five of The Bucks County Novels – synopsis version 2:
Maya Kaminsky’s dream of owning a French bakery cafe has finally been realized, despite the opposition of her rigid and narrow-minded family. But as the business grows and thrives, it becomes the target of vandalism —at first petty mischief which quickly escalates into dangerous sabotage. To complicate matters, Maya’s childhood friend, Brad Logan, moves back into town and with his recent inheritance, buys her building, intending to help her out. However, Maya is so used to relying on herself that it’s a struggle to accept help from anyone, let alone a man with whom she finds herself falling in love. Nevertheless, Maya will need all the help she can get to save both her business and her very life.
And the original version:
Maya Kaminski has achieved her dream of owning a French bakery cafe, even though her family opposed her every step of the way. It hasn’t been easy, but her hard work and dedication have paid off —the business is thriving and she’s slowly getting ahead. Just as things seem to be going her way, her childhood friend, Brad Logan, moves back into town and with his recent inheritance, buys Maya’s building, intending to help her out. However, Maya is so used to relying on herself that it’s a struggle to accept help from anyone, let alone a man with whom she finds herself falling in love. When the cafe comes under attack, first by what appears to be petty mischief but quickly escalates to dangerous sabotage, Maya will need all the help she can get to save her business and her life.
What do you think? Better or still needs work?