Small Cuts (2) – Elaine

I wasn’t sure if I was going to continue this story… It took a few weeks to convince myself to go on. I hope you enjoy. And you can find part one here.

Jealousy. It was my only goal. Because the truth was Oliver was an ass. He’d been overly familiar with me from the moment we’d met. How he and James had ever managed to connect in college and remain friends was a mystery to me. They were as opposite as light and dark, hot and cold, summer and winter. Nevertheless, they were friends. Or at least they had been. It seemed like the friendship had become more habit, something you didn’t quite know how to break, even though there was no longer any reason to keep up the routine.

Recently, it had been Oliver who had made the overtures. James hadn’t been the one to reach out in a very long time. Except of course for those obligatory occasions when your ‘best’ friends had to be included. Holiday parties, birthday parties, Labor Day picnics —that kind of thing. And even more telling, Oliver had started initiating those invitations with me. He made the excuse that James never got back to him in time—probably true—and that he was always sure to get a quick response from me. One of his eyebrow-raising euphemisms that I pretended were lost on me.

Oliver was telling another one of his funny ‘client’ stories and I tried to listen with one ear and eavesdrop on James’ conversation with Genevieve with the other. They found each other thrown together once again while Oliver monopolized my attention. Tonight though, something was different. Genevieve actually looked engaged, animated… Happy? For a change…

Oliver touched my hand. “Lainey, you’re ignoring me.”

I shook myself back to attention. “Sorry, what were you saying?”

He resumed his story and I absently followed along so that I could laugh at the appropriate moments, make the right remarks. I watched my husband reach across the table and take Genevieve’s hand. For just a beat, maybe two, their fingers threaded together in a subtle act of… Of what? Allegiance? Empathy? Intimacy?

I laughed out loud, touched Oliver’s hand, hoping James would pay attention. God dammit, what would it take to get him to pay attention to me? One thing I realized recently… I realized that I’d given James all the power in this relationship.

James is a really good looking guy. Even more than when I’d first met him. Age has given him that worldly, distinguished, educated and elegant air that women find so beguiling. I’d always felt like he was kind of out of my league, actually. But that is my low self esteem talking… Anyway, I’ve always told him how handsome and attractive I think he is and recently, it’s been my tactic to get him in bed. Not that it’s worked. But the side effect is that I think he feels like he never has to worry about me, or work to keep my attention. AND without saying it, it also implies that another man might never be interested in me. So Oliver became my willing participant in these games, these attempts to get my husband to notice me. To notice another man noticing me, desiring me.

But if it was having an effect, he wasn’t manifesting it in any way I could recognize. Even the little bit of ‘jealousy’ he had with Oliver the first time we had lunched together alone, he got over rather quickly. And when I told him about meeting Oliver for coffee last Thursday? Because yeah, I told him… He had shrugged and said ‘say hello for me’ and ‘have a good time.’

On one hand, I appreciated that he had trust in me. But on the other, should he so readily trust that another man isn’t thinking about his wife in a more than friendly way? Apparently that is a foreign concept to him.

James’ hand returned to his own side of the table and he picked up his knife and fork. My eyes drifted over to Genevieve who had resumed making small cuts in the steak she’d barely touched. Why would you order the most expensive thing on the menu if you were going to push it around your plate?

I stared down at my pasta dish, barely eaten and sighed. A hypocrite, that’s what I was. My ploy to make James jealous was backfiring in spectacular fashion.

Oliver had gone quiet and I hadn’t noticed. When I met his gaze across the table, the expression on his face was pained. “Lainey,” he said, softly. “You’re ignoring me again. Don’t you do that to me, too.”

Continue reading here.

True Love’s Kiss

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Through the storm, on wings I’d fly
To find my true love, sure I’d try
And though I’d know not where to go,
My true love’s heart would guide me so
And when I’d find her, then we’d promise
Our love for life, sealed with a kiss…

Because in my head I’m 14….

Thanks to all the fangirls of Captain Swan on Tumblr 

The Thwarted Wedding

A long time ago, there lived a beautiful young woman, Bega – the virgin daughter of Bran, a powerful Irish King- whose beauty and fine reputation had become famous in the land. In order to seal a treaty with the neighboring king, Bega’s father promised her in marriage to the other king’s son. Now this son -Corban- was much older than Bega. He was known to be a drunkard and a glutton. He was cruel in his treatment of his servants, his horses and his dogs. However, for many years, the two kingdoms had been at war and at long last, there was a chance to make peace.

A great feast was held at King Bran’s castle to celebrate the treaty and to introduce the betrothed to one another. When Bega was presented to her future husband, he leered at her, he licked his lips provocatively and he squeezed her breasts as if he was choosing ripe fruit. Bega was terrified and her father, King Bran, was none too pleased either. However, a deal was a deal and if the exhausted lands were spared from further battle, it would be worth the price.

The night before her wedding, the fairies heard Bega weeping at her window and they decided to take pity on her. The fair folk had been friends for many years with the first men and women who came to settle in their realm, but they were no friends of the rival king and his wicked son. Their leader, Roslyn, approached Bega with a plan. Three of the fairies were sent to put the guards of the castle to sleep with a draught of drugged ale, three more were sent to fool Corban’s father into signing the treaty without the payment of the maiden as a condition, and a final three -including Roslyn, herself- spirited Bega away from the castle and her fate.

Over the green fields, over the hills and valleys, the fairies rode with Bega in their care. When they reached the seashore, Roslyn called a great sea monster from the depths to carry Bega to the Eastern Isles. For the fairies had allies in the kingdom of Cymru and had a friend in their great king -Emrys. Ahead of the sea monster, the fairies sent a gull to carry a message to Emrys, asking him to keep the maiden safely hidden from cruel Prince Corban. With tears of relief and thanks, Bega bid her friends goodbye and climbed on the back of her conveyance.

Three days later, she arrived on the shores of Cymru, tired and hungry but safe and well. As the sea monster departed, a group of mounted men approached from inland. The tallest of the men dismounted and came to her. He was handsome and well dressed, with a neatly trimmed beard, straight teeth and clear blue eyes. He smiled and held out his hand to Bega who until this point had kept her face lowered in respect. However, when she raised her eyes to the handsome stranger, he immediately saw how beautiful she was, despite her fatigue and disarray.

“My lord,” she said, humbly. “I am Bega. I’ve fled from my home in Ireland to escape a most terrible fate. If you would be so kind to take me into your care, I will gratefully become the lowest of the serving women in your household. Only do not send me back home, for I would rather die.”

King Emrys smiled and lifted her to her feet. “I’ll do better than that, maiden. My friends the fairies have told me all about you, all your good qualities –your virtue, your kindness and charity. At their good report, I swear I had fallen in love with you already. And so I was prepared to ask for your hand in marriage. Now if you would have me, I see that I would be rewarded with your beauty as well. What do you say? Do you think you could love a man like me?”

At his words, Bega began to weep again and Emrys was troubled. “I have gone too far,” he said miserably.

“No, my lord. These are tears of joy I weep, for you make me a happy woman this day. Your friends are my friends, as well. And if they trusted me to your care, then I am sure that I could love you. I will gladly be your wife.”

At these words, Emrys embraced her, sealing their promise with a kiss of true love. He then lifted her onto his horse and carried her back to his castle to rest and recover from her ordeal.

Preparations for the royal wedding were immediately begun. Bega was bathed and clothed in a fine silk gown and jeweled with precious gems given to her by the dowager queen -Emrys’ own mother. Her maid servants wove flowers into her hair and rubbed oils into her already flawless skin. Within a fortnight of her arrival, King Emrys and Queen Bega were married and settled into courtly life.

Meanwhile, when Bega had been discovered missing, Corban had wanted to go to war against her father, King Bran. His own father produced the signed treaty with the alteration removing the condition of marriage. At the sight of it, Corban flew into such a rage that his heart, weakened by his gluttony and drunkenness, burst on the spot and he died.