Graham tossed the phone onto the sofa next to him. He scraped his hair off his forehead and pinched the bridge of his nose. God, he was losing his mind. Joni made him feel reckless and illogical, and totally… alive. He wanted to be with her all the time and he was pushing way too hard.
He blew out a breath. They would have time. The next few weeks, he would see her every day. So for now, he would try to be patient. However, with his plans for the day foiled, time stretched out before him like a desert highway. He needed to move, to burn off some of this energy. Today would have been the perfect day for a long, hard run. He would have to settle for a walk around the neighborhood instead. He laced up his running shoes and tucked his phone in his pocket. With the knee brace tightened firmly, he gingerly walked down the steps.
The snow piles had shrunk in size since he’d come home From the hospital on Thursday. A couple of days of sunshine with temperatures in the forties will do that. The respite from winter was to be short-lived, however. The weather forecast was for another storm Tuesday night into Wednesday. He just hoped his rehab wasn’t disrupted by the whole mess. The sooner he got that over with, the sooner he could get on with things. He still had some big decisions to make.
He took a deep breath, drawing in the cold, dry air and set off as quickly as his knee would allow. As much as he tried to think of other things, his thoughts always returned to Joni. She was incredible. His father was right, he felt like he’d been struck by lightning. She was smart and beautiful and funny. God, she made him laugh. In these past few weeks, he had seen the softer side of Joni, too. She probably didn’t realize it, but she wore her heart on her sleeve. He had watched pain cloud her big blue eyes when she worried about Paul. He had seen the tenderness there when she cared for her nieces and nephew.
What had he seen in those eyes when she looked at him? The emotion was there right beneath the surface, but along with it, fear. “And that,” he sighed, “is why she’s staying away.” She needed to come to terms with those feelings. Decide whether or not she could trust them. How could he prove to her that he…? “Damn,” he muttered, not finishing the thought. He needed to pull himself together or he was going to ruin everything. He couldn’t blow this again.