Worthlessness 

I originally posted this in May, for Mental Health Awareness Month. Today is Mental Health Awareness Day

“Fools write books about madness being an elevated mental state or an alternative form of creativity. It’s not. It’s anguish.”

— Jonathan Kellerman, mystery writer and clinical psychologist. 

Worthlessness

You’re better off without me
How can you not see
I’m a weight dragging you down
You know everyone loves you
I’m just holding you back
Stifling your potential
You could do so much more
Have so much more
Without me
Making you settle
For less than you deserve
Promising mediocrity
Delivering failure
Managing existence
Barely
Poorly
Awfully…

I’m sorry
You really need to go

Be everything I am not.

Selective Memory

Time softens all the jagged edges
The lens is hazy, out of focus
Lay the gauze across my recollections
When I remember what became of us…

Promises whispered, drunk on wine
I’d believe your whitewashed lies
And dull deceptions polish to a shine
Trace my lips with your fingers, smile

Make me slave to your obsessions
A naive girl at your mercy 
Just another trinket for your collection
Love, a lie, sweetness and agony 

Then depart without a warning
Despise myself, knowing I’d forgive you
Empty hours of constant yearning
To start again like something new

When you’d return with total assurance
That I was helpless to resist you
Confident of my acquiescence
You’d break my heart anew

And yet those days, those heady days
Of books and wine and conversation
The nights in your tender arms I’d lay
Then wake in solitude once again… 

So I choose the pieces that I want
Tiny fragments, bring me joy
And cast aside those that haunt
When I was your plaything, wicked boy

Image courtesy Indian Express