Breathe Out

“Breathe out, so I can breathe you in.” Dave Grohl – Everlong

I see him across the room, talking to his friends. I can’t help but stare, he’s breathtakingly handsome. He must feel my eyes on him because he turns, flashes me a wicked grin and says something to the man standing next to him. I close my eyes and take a gulp of my drink, forgetting that I’ve ordered a straight whiskey. I cough from the burn when I swallow too fast. Breathe out.

Suddenly he’s next to me, still smiling. Now I’m embarrassed. He asks me to dance and before I can reply, he takes the tumbler and sets it on a nearby table. His arm goes to the center of my back, to the spot where my evening gown reveals bare flesh. His fingers are warm as they rest softly against my skin. Breathe in. He smells divine. It’s a subtle scent, clean and manly. I rest one hand on his shoulder as he grasps the other one in his and pulls me to the center of the dance floor.  

The lights are low and the other couples around us sway to the romantic ballad. I look into his eyes and see the heat in them. Thank God for the low lighting because I feel myself flush. As the song plays on, he holds me tighter. Our faces nearly touch. His breath is warm against my mouth, his lips close to mine. The fingers on my bare back slowly caress. My heart is hammering in my chest and I’m sure he must know how he’s affecting me. Breathe out.

He moves us to the perimeter of the crowd of swaying bodies as the song ends. Without a word, he draws me out onto the veranda and circles me in his arms. We are alone in the cool, night air and I shiver involuntarily. He gently frames my face with his hands and searches my eyes. “You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs as he lowers his lips to mine. His thumbs caress my jawline as he nibbles and sips. He teases with his tongue, tasting like red wine and I moan softly as he deepens the kiss. When we break apart breathless, I say, “If everything could ever feel this real forever…”

Breathe in. I open my eyes and stare across the room again. He’s still standing there with his friends, laughing at something one of them said. I throw back the rest of my whiskey and fan myself. If anything could ever be that good again…

Worth More To Me…

A glaze of ice on the water of the lake
The whip of the cold north wind in my hair
The gunmetal sky spilling fat snowflakes
Hurry home to wife and hearth and fire

Up ahead the chimney smoke is but a wisp
I urge the horse on, as apprehension grows
The house is dark, no lanterns light the way
As steed and I struggle in the deepening snow

I leap from my mount upon entering the yard
Tie him quickly to the post and hasten cross threshold
Inside I find only cold and empty rooms
And note upon mantle above fire banked to coals

‘Dearest husband, I’ve given you a way
Find another woman to keep you warm
One who will not disappoint, fail to give you sons
Fill her belly, find comfort in her arms

I beg your leave and your wish for well
I return to my own father’s home in shame
I relinquish my privileged place
It was my honor to take your name

But now I give it back so you may take another
Take a lively, fertile girl with hips for giving birth
Who’ll keep your house and hearth
Bring the sound of children’s laughter and mirth

Farewell my love, I’ve taken only my clothes
I’m riding the old mare for she’s no good to you
Do not try to stop me, it’s my heart’s desire
Your happiness is worth more than mine times two’

I sank to my knees in anguish and deep distress
For even familiar roads in snow would be precarious
Yet she couldn’t have made it too far along
I returned to the horse and set off in chase

The snow had all but obscured their tracks
And yet I soon picked up their trail into the forest
Thank God, old Molly was surefooted, true, but plodding
For in the woods, were dangers more treacherous

Wolves and bears and highwaymen, even in the storm
Would prey upon a vulnerable woman and her mare
I pushed my horse recklessly along the blanketed road
Trying to keep my wits and not give in to despair

Up ahead amidst the trees, barely visible through the snow
A tiny rider cloaked in grey, upon a dappled mount
Standing in the stirrups, bow drawn, arrow aimed
At circling wolf, alone and foaming at the mouth

I hurried on, drawing my sword from its sheath
But watched as she dispatched the wolf with arrow’s tip
Then with tears of joy I pulled my love from saddle
And with loving kisses warmed her lips

‘My sweet you cannot leave me, I need you more than air
I want you more than food or water, I love you more than life
You are worth more to me than a dozen sons
I live for your laughter and companionship, my beloved wife’

Her eyes bright and shining, pools of pain and sorrow
‘I am sorry love, I thought I should set you free’
I kissed her cool mouth softly and cut off her words
‘Come home darling, your place will always be with me’

Guilty

Guilty. I recount my every failing
Tears flow, keening, wailing

For the loss of all that I hold precious
Words cannot convey my anguish

Heart broken, shattered into tiny pieces
Take the slender blade and slice it

Stay forever the exquisite pain
Lose forever the remembrance of my name