How Did I Get Here?

A flashback for Friday. This was one of my most popular posts in 2015. It was part one of a series I wrote called Diary of a New Writer. So in case you missed it…

(The caption on my coffee cup is Irish Gaelic and translates: “The traveler has tales to tell.”)

My dad was a story-teller. It’s only now, looking back, that I appreciate what a vivid imagination he had. He made up a whole series of adventures involving our neighbor’s cat: Mopsy, and another one with a little old man and a cuckoo clock that always saved the day. Anyway, I come by my love of stories and books, naturally.

I loved taking notes in school and writing letters to my friends who moved to Florida when I was a little girl. I kept a diary from the time I was eight years old right up to about age fourteen. I still have some of the notebooks I filled with poetry when I was a teenager. I excelled in English, ignored it to the detriment of my other subjects, yet was never encouraged to pursue it as a career. Cést la vie.

I went to college, majored in marketing, learned to write ad copy and design polls and surveys. Graduated in a time of recession and couldn’t get a job. I was Winona Ryder in “Reality Bites,” in other words, floundering.

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I even ended up working at the Gap! (Sharp intake of breath. I heard you.) That job is what ultimately led me to pursue a career change. At twenty-one, I found myself with such back pain, I could barely walk. Long story short, chiropractic saved the day and I found my new calling. I went back to school, moved to a new area, started working in my field, etc. Suddenly, I realized it had been years since I thought about writing.

One day, I guess about two years ago, I was sitting in the stylist’s chair at the hair salon, touching up the blonde and reading my book to pass the time. My stylist said to me, “You’re always reading. Did you ever want to write a book yourself?” “Sure,” I laughed. “Doesn’t every reader want to be a writer?” “You should do it,” she said. “Hmm,” I thought. “But what am I going to write about?”

… And after that I bought myself a notebook and starting jotting down ideas. The rest, as they say, is history!

Listen, fool…

“The first and most important requirement is an understanding of human nature. … A man learns nothing when he talks; he learns by listening. Which is why those who talk the most are, in the ordinary run of things, fools.” – Essay on Novels, The Marquis de Sade

More writing advice from the esteemed (alright, notorious and dubious) Marquis de Sade. He is onto something, however.

Writers need to be students. Students of all that life has to inform us. I am a firm believer in reading, observing, listening and contemplating (possibly to a fault – I do drift off sometimes into my own private world of wonder). How else can a writer put him or herself into the mind of a character –a character who does not share your own life’s experience, beliefs, opinions, motivations, desires or biases?

Ask the why and the what for? What motivates people to do the things they do? Is it a lust for power, wealth, fame? Or duty, honor and family obligation?  Or most nobly, for love?

Observe people talking to their partners across the table at a restaurant. What do you gather from their facial expressions? Is it a romantic evening or is tension in the air? What can you gather by listening to the person next to you on the train as they talk on the phone? Is it business, a family matter, personal? (I am not advocating stalking, FYI!)

Just like traveling to the location we wish to use as our setting so as not to get it wrong, the characters we write also need to be authentic. And thus as we listen and observe, we then become empaths, placing ourselves in the situations we wish to write about.

And in the spirit of the above advice, I will stop talking and let the marquis’ words stand on their own.

Image thanks to NPR