Adventures in fiction writing.
There are many descriptors that a writer can use to convey the physical act of walking. For example:
- Walk
- Run
- Pace
- Shuffle
- Amble
- Trudge
- Hurry
- Scurry
- Sidle
- Tip toe
- Stomp
- Trot
- Hike
- Meander
- Stroll
You get the idea… However, one of the mistakes I made in my early fiction pieces –fortunately one that I caught before publishing– is to over-describe a character’s movements within a scene. Let’s suppose we are writing a scene in which a couple at home is having a conversation, while cooking together in the kitchen.
Joni walked to the refrigerator and gathered all the ingredients for the salad. Then she walked to the counter and set them in front of Graham before hurrying back to the stove to stir the soup.
That’s just two sentences, but imagine that going on throughout a 300 page novel! Every time a character makes a move, the writer doesn’t need to describe it.
Joni gathered the salad ingredients from the refrigerator and set them in front of Graham, then returned to the stove to stir the soup.
The use of a variety of descriptors for movement helps us to visualize the scene. it is part of the concept of ‘show don’t tell’ in writing. Some scenes will require a lot of movement –a fight scene, or a foot chase, for example. A heated discussion might have a character agitated and pacing or wildly gesturing. In those instances, a detailed description of their moves would be appropriate. But in a routine setting like the one above, the reader doesn’t need to see every little move a character makes.
Happy writing and productive editing!
(Header image courtesy stpaul.gov Google images)
Meg Sorick, Author/Artist 
Great tip! I’ve also fallen into the trap of showing my characters walking from place to place–instead of just putting them in place from the start of the scene.
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Thanks, yes me too! It ends up sounding like a list instead of a narrative. Fortunately it shows up quickly in the editing process!
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This is great. Definitely will keep it in mind ☺️
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Thank you! I’m glad it was helpful.😃
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You’re welcome 🙂
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Agreed on that 🙂 a good reminder for editing 💕✌️
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Thank you! 🙏
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A wonderful reminder, Meg!
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Thanks, Mia!
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I catch this sort of thing when I write, too.
But then there are the scenes where you need to describe every motion in more detail… if you know what I mean… *wink*
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Yes, ma’am! Those scenes require a lot of detail! 😄
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My writer friends and I jokingly call this “NaNo-ing.” It’s something I’ll do intentionally when I’m stuck on a scene. I’ll narrate minute details until something interesting happens. Then a lot of that description ends up on the editing room floor. 🙂 Good reminder!
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Yes, I do that too, and I agree its a great method for breaking through a blockage. I write an awful lot of cooking into my stories and then chop it out afterwards! Ah Nano-ing – and padding the word count!
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Aw, Jeez…reading this is making me cringe–I recognize this issue immediately as something I’ve done…except it involved making pancakes and sausages 😉 Thanks for this!
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Haha! Well at least it sounds delicious! 😄
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