A poem by Meg Sorick*
It’s a war of attrition
When the cease fire is ordered
No one knows who gave the command
The result is a stalemate
Neither side can claim victory
Even though both will
And as the soldiers wearily lay down their weapons,
Trudge, exhausted from the field
Someone raises a white flag on the line
Amidst the rubble
When the smoke clears
There is nothing but devastation
As far as the eye can see
*This piece was originally a second stanza to the poem I posted a couple weeks ago: The Last Scene. I separated the two, even though the theme is the same, the structure was different. At some point I may reconstruct both parts into one poem … if I can figure it out. Because this is not about war, and The Last Scene is not about theater, they are allegorical. I feel like there needs to be another concluding stanza as well. Poetical insights welcome.
~The illustration is my own~
It sounds as if you will have to break them down to get them structured correctly. By the way, this part was very good.
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Yes, I will… I have to play with the number of lines and set a rhythm for the entire thing, too. And thank you!
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Wonderful!
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Thank you!
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It feels very contemporary to me, unfortunately. We seem to face this all the time… well done, dear friend!
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Thanks, Dee! Yep life, relationships, love, career and family… Sometimes it all feels like a battle. 😞 I am trying to practice gratitude and contentment, though. ❤️
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Me, too. We are contemplating selling and moving into a 55 plus community in a few years! Yikes, that makes me feel old!
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Right?!? We’re approaching the age of qualification too!
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Hi Meg, this is a wonderfully dark piece as is, “The Last Scene”. For me both of these pieces allude to life and the acceptance of things as we move towards the end, not always pretty. I think they hold hands well, complementing each other. Perhaps you can write another ‘scene’ or two, maybe three, all capturing the same essence, same theme from different vantage points, just an idea. Enjoy your Thursday! ~ Mia
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Thanks, Mia. Yes, that was what I was intending to convey. I think you’re right – adding another perspective (or 2 or 3) will give it more comprehensiveness. Appreciate your suggestions! I will never be primarily a poet, but I do enjoy the process! 💗
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You’re welcome, Meg. I’m looking forward to the finished piece! 💗
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Oh yes!
I see how the two came together. In my mind the third stanza is death, and the overall title is “The final Act.”
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I like it! Thank you for the suggestion!
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Wonderful words Meg. It’s Vinnie here, I’ve set up a second site.
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Thanks Vinnie! 👍
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Here’s the link. I know you’ll love it.
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https://bunsareallthatyourequirehere.wordpress.com
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Beautiful poem.
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Thank you!
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